Flat On My Back

I often have the most beautiful moments meeting with Holy Spirit on the ground, flat on my back. When I am overwhelmed, overthinking, or just in over my head, I find my self laid out, looking up asking for him to meet me.

I would lay on the veranda in Swazi, or the bench in our hostel in Myanmar, or even specific moments I remember laying on a concrete slab in Maesot at the border. Or even now on this concrete tile floor in Chiang Mai, Thailand watching the fan go around.

Tonight was a goodnight where the holy spirit was given the floor and people gave testimony where they felt led, or shared lessons/words/visions as he gave them. We prayed when people needed prayer, we lifted up the little church the Lord has given us, we worshiped like it was what kept the air pouring into the room; we got to give passerbyers a seat at the table we get a feast at. We even got to witness a beautiful baptism, followed by us all jumping in the pool, and singing hymns around the quiet water. 

Something last night reminded me of: When I was little I would lay on the floor in my Dad’s office as he worked and watch the fan. I would try to have my eyes catch the blades as they sped around in circles. It was nothing significant, just a way to pass the time as my imagination ran circles along with the spinning sky. As I child I found this place of being on my back completely unaware of anything going on around, all the way at ease, so comforting – a place of total surrender. Total vulnerability to the things around, since I couldn’t see outside of up. I think that piece of childhood rings true, even today, so many years later. The spaces I allow myself to be used in my vulnerability, the times where i’m trusting completely that where I am is where the Lord has placed me; so much so that I don’t need to be constantly looking around. 

The place that makes the least sense to live life, but the one where total fulfillment comes most often.

I don’t know why the Lord brought up this seemingly fleeting memory, but maybe it is for someone who reads these words: strength looks most often like being unafraid to admit weakness. Trust me, i’m preaching myself on this one. BUT I have time after time seen this true. Flat on my back, asking for the Lord to sustain, in a place of “if he doesn’t show up, I don’t know what I will do”, and time and time again hear the small whisper of “just hand it over, lay it down” and sometimes he does that through just having us physically lay down. Resting in the fact that he will do it, despite that feeling that we MUST. 

Some small quick little lessons from our favorite: Holy Spirit

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